mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
