worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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