I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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