We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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