Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
