Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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