you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
