Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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