My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
