What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
