4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
