i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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