Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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