We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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