You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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