That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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