dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize