My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
