too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
