I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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