I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
