and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
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Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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