omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Drunk is not a location!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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