Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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