Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize