Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
