I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
