By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
