The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
