Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
