what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
