clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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