I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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