so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
