Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
