It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
