So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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