I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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