my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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