mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so explain again why im purple
no
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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