I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize