Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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