he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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