I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
