try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
