um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
