Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
