My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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