They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
