Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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