eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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