I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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