I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
