He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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