Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
