I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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