CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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