I wanna bring you to show and tell
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
