HIV tests are more positive than that guy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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