What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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