i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
