I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
