operation have a gay friend backfired
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
