I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
