He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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