I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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