he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
