glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
