I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
even my farts smell like vagina
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
