Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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