and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
