not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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