allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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