Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
