do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
