I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
