You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
